We'll start with the hang-ups! Publicizing our blog! This was my first major hang-up, but I made a promise that as soon as we received USCIS approval we would go public with our blog. This was made to keep our friends posted on our adoption, but it's also helped me let off anxiety, so please excuse ramblings. So as you can guess??? WE RECEIVED APPROVAL TODAY!!! If you look over to the right, you'll see how the timeline works (in a perfect world that is). Sometimes it takes longer and by God's Grace (such as now) it comes sooner.
People ask us: Where are you at in the process? How much longer before you get to pick a child? Boy or girl? How long now? How old? Why does it take so long? How can you afford? and hundreds more.
Believe it or not, we don't mind the questions. You know why? Because that was US asking those same questions over the last 5 years! Information given is knowledge gained. Who knows, maybe someone asking the questions may be the next family to give a child a home with a mom and dad and a future. What we have to say is it may not be for you...yet...or ever, but there is ALWAYS something you can do. You can pray, you can sponsor a child, you can become a big brother or big sister, you can volunteer at a center where kids go when their parents cannot afford after-school childcare, you can do so many things, but the main thing to remember is the YOU CAN part. It doesn't have to be overseas, over anywhere, it can start in your own community, the need is there, just look and I'm sure many will be blessed.
I'm sure you've heard of the old adage, "pay if forward". Do for another without expecting anything in return and they in turn do for another and it keeps going. Through our family being able to ask so many questions of others adopting (and being blessed by them giving us answers), we are adopting ourselves. So please, ask away, if something is too personal to post, I'll contact you privately, but if not, I'll give you any of the answers as they are pertaining to our family.
Blessings to you,
Francine
Jan 25, 2012
Jan 12, 2012
Directions - Read Directions - Read AGAIN To Understand
My friends all tell me I am WAY too literal a person. So much so, after today's blunder, I'm beginning to believe them!
In all the hoopla of getting all our documents together for our dossier. One of the items that must be done is to have your birth certificates & marriage license authenticated by the Chinese Consulate. Ours is in Chicago so our agency sent us their courier contact Denise. She came highly recommended and her web site was very thorough with its directions...until I read them too literally.
She couriers MANY different forms of documents and in the list of things to include it said GI application. I skipped right over this part because I knew we weren't filing to have our GI bill authenticated. Which also called to have copies of you passport too.
After overnighting her our documents, I gladly made one more check off my list, now it was in her hands. Until she called this morning and asked where our G1 application and passport copies were. I had totally misread the instructions, there WAS an application for me to fill out, a G1 (one), not GI. She laughed through it, helped me email the docs to her and we moved on.
Then she paused and HAD to tell me, "Now, when it comes time for you to go to China and they say you need to get a VISA, they do not mean a credit card! They want the actual Chinese VISA." I had to laugh because she said this actually happened and a couple showed up at the airport with a VISA credit card instead of the VISA!.
What would the world be without us VERY literal thinkers, a boring place without too much humor I like to believe.
Blessings,
Francine
She
In all the hoopla of getting all our documents together for our dossier. One of the items that must be done is to have your birth certificates & marriage license authenticated by the Chinese Consulate. Ours is in Chicago so our agency sent us their courier contact Denise. She came highly recommended and her web site was very thorough with its directions...until I read them too literally.
She couriers MANY different forms of documents and in the list of things to include it said GI application. I skipped right over this part because I knew we weren't filing to have our GI bill authenticated. Which also called to have copies of you passport too.
After overnighting her our documents, I gladly made one more check off my list, now it was in her hands. Until she called this morning and asked where our G1 application and passport copies were. I had totally misread the instructions, there WAS an application for me to fill out, a G1 (one), not GI. She laughed through it, helped me email the docs to her and we moved on.
Then she paused and HAD to tell me, "Now, when it comes time for you to go to China and they say you need to get a VISA, they do not mean a credit card! They want the actual Chinese VISA." I had to laugh because she said this actually happened and a couple showed up at the airport with a VISA credit card instead of the VISA!.
What would the world be without us VERY literal thinkers, a boring place without too much humor I like to believe.
Blessings,
Francine
She
The Gingerbread Barn Going - Going - Gone!
After the birds had their fill Mr. Squirrel quickly ran and grabbed the remaining side of the barn and only left the red remnants of what was left of the Gingerbread Barn.
Ghost Blogging
Today's post is called Ghost Blogging because I feel like our blog is out there, but no one can see or read it because we haven't publicly posted it.....Yet!
Having a blog to me is very intimidating. It's something that's from your heart and opens up a certain vulnerability to others. But if reading our story helps others but ANY means through their adoption journey or any other type of journey they are making, it's well worth the exposure and hopefully may give them the confidence to put themselves out there also.
After I decided what to call this post, I found out there is actually a thing called "Ghost Blogging", who knew? It is actually where someone else writes your blog for you under your name and is paid to do so. I think I'll stick to writing my own.
Having a blog to me is very intimidating. It's something that's from your heart and opens up a certain vulnerability to others. But if reading our story helps others but ANY means through their adoption journey or any other type of journey they are making, it's well worth the exposure and hopefully may give them the confidence to put themselves out there also.
After I decided what to call this post, I found out there is actually a thing called "Ghost Blogging", who knew? It is actually where someone else writes your blog for you under your name and is paid to do so. I think I'll stick to writing my own.
Jan 9, 2012
Keeping the Faith
The last 2 weeks have been ones of searching. Searching for a little girl named Melissa who melted my heart and sent me on a quest to find out if she could be ours. She was with a foster program in China and no one had anything but basic information. If anyone knows me, I charge at a challenge and since everything so far with our adoption has come upon the "we've never had a case like this before", I believed she would be ours somehow. I was told it would be like "finding a needle in a haystack", a "one in a million chance of finding her", etc. etc.
Well, with the helpfulness of some beautiful souls, I found her with another agency, getting to be matched with a family, and other families waiting in the wings ready to call her their own, not ours though. I found out tonight around 6 pm and was heart broken, but happy for her to have a forever family. God really lead me through the search, I truly believe so that I could fall back on Him for reassurance that He knows who and what is best for our family. Reading today there was a verse that stood apart.
Matthew 7:8
For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, the door will be opened.
We will keep asking, who Lord. Please lead us on the path to the child you have chosen for us.
We will keep seeking for the face we will know in our heart God has chosen for our family.
We will keep knocking until the door is wide open and we can walk our walk on the path the Lord has set for us.
Blessings,
Francine
Well, with the helpfulness of some beautiful souls, I found her with another agency, getting to be matched with a family, and other families waiting in the wings ready to call her their own, not ours though. I found out tonight around 6 pm and was heart broken, but happy for her to have a forever family. God really lead me through the search, I truly believe so that I could fall back on Him for reassurance that He knows who and what is best for our family. Reading today there was a verse that stood apart.
Matthew 7:8
For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, the door will be opened.
We will keep asking, who Lord. Please lead us on the path to the child you have chosen for us.
We will keep seeking for the face we will know in our heart God has chosen for our family.
We will keep knocking until the door is wide open and we can walk our walk on the path the Lord has set for us.
Blessings,
Francine
Recycling the Gingerbread Barn
Usually my posts have been serious, but it's time to get a little humor. Richie was baptized in November and received a Gingerbread Barn from our good friends. Being the NOT so crafty mom/nana, we didn't put it together until December and it was our first one ever. Long story short, Richie got braces & couldn't eat the candy so we decided to give the birds, squirrels & any other manner of outside critter a feast by recycling the barn in the front yard. We even gave it it's own foundation!
Well, there it sat for over a week without even a nibble. We come home everyday cracking up about how nothing would even try to taste the house. Low & behold we came home & there was a squirrel diligently tasting the sugar roof. I tried to get a pic of him, but he never reshowed. Now it looks as if he's been eating the back of the barn (pics later). So if you are around our house & see squirrels or birds acting squirrelly, they're just on a sugar high from the barn. : )
Well, there it sat for over a week without even a nibble. We come home everyday cracking up about how nothing would even try to taste the house. Low & behold we came home & there was a squirrel diligently tasting the sugar roof. I tried to get a pic of him, but he never reshowed. Now it looks as if he's been eating the back of the barn (pics later). So if you are around our house & see squirrels or birds acting squirrelly, they're just on a sugar high from the barn. : )
Jan 2, 2012
Family Traditions
Our holidays were really nice. The one tradition is to spend Christmas Eve at G/G Verbeke's home. Most the kids are grown or almost grown and were reminiscing about the "quirks" of parents and grandparents that only a family can relate to after growing up in the same family, with the same traditions year after year. It was one of the nicest holidays there.
My beautiful, wonderful mom passed 7 years ago at the young age of 58. The "tradition" on my side of the family was to meet on Christmas day to celebrate. With her passing, so did this tradition. Now it's custom to meet in our home to share a meal and be together. It doesn't seem the same, our grown children have other places they need to be, the grandkids have different grandparents they need to see, and the closeness isn't the same with everyone's busy lives.
I enjoyed the chaos of unwrapping, sharing the meal, and most of all giving thanks to God for my family. But I have a confession, I also kept thinking about a child, our child, out there and what they were doing this holiday, I wondered if their foster family or orphanage celebrated Christmas, if they received a gift, my mind just wandered and I pray that the 2012 Christmas they will be starting a family tradition in our home.
We spent New Year's Eve with close friends, chatting the night away, playing Apples to Apples with the 2 kids there, our grandson and his friend. It was actually the 3rd year we have celebrated New Year's. In years past we were always the parents at home with our kids and whoever wanted to have their kids at our house, it was fun and I'm looking forward to that in 2013.
Carmen got to have a small party of 5 at our house, which was right down the road from where we were. Richie was with us & I'll post his pics later too. Our kids were they only ones in pajamas for the evening, everyone else was dressed up. We could hardly wait to leave it was SO noisy with 2-13 yr. olds & 3-12 yr. olds!
Happy New Year 2012, may everyone have a blessed year.
Francine
My beautiful, wonderful mom passed 7 years ago at the young age of 58. The "tradition" on my side of the family was to meet on Christmas day to celebrate. With her passing, so did this tradition. Now it's custom to meet in our home to share a meal and be together. It doesn't seem the same, our grown children have other places they need to be, the grandkids have different grandparents they need to see, and the closeness isn't the same with everyone's busy lives.
I enjoyed the chaos of unwrapping, sharing the meal, and most of all giving thanks to God for my family. But I have a confession, I also kept thinking about a child, our child, out there and what they were doing this holiday, I wondered if their foster family or orphanage celebrated Christmas, if they received a gift, my mind just wandered and I pray that the 2012 Christmas they will be starting a family tradition in our home.
We spent New Year's Eve with close friends, chatting the night away, playing Apples to Apples with the 2 kids there, our grandson and his friend. It was actually the 3rd year we have celebrated New Year's. In years past we were always the parents at home with our kids and whoever wanted to have their kids at our house, it was fun and I'm looking forward to that in 2013.
Carmen got to have a small party of 5 at our house, which was right down the road from where we were. Richie was with us & I'll post his pics later too. Our kids were they only ones in pajamas for the evening, everyone else was dressed up. We could hardly wait to leave it was SO noisy with 2-13 yr. olds & 3-12 yr. olds!
 |
| The Party Girls |
Francine
Dec 18, 2011
The Goal is Gathering This Week
The Chinese government keeps adding little bits and pieces just since we started in July. We are so blessed with friends, our pastor, our teachers & principals, etc. that have gone above and beyond with reference letters. They have had to do and sometimes redo their letter. Mail and remail their letters and all the while saying, "of course we will". We are so humbled by their love and generosity.
Christmas is right around the corner. The tree is up, gifts purchased and yet it seems so different this year, like something or SOMEONE, is missing. We have no face yet to our child, yet they are etched on our heart. Today's sermon was given and talked about how Caesar was considered by some as the savior of the world with all his wealth and power. Yet a tiny, helpless child, born in a manger, protected only by strips of cloth, whose mother & adopted father were turned away, who had no wealth or power, is the true Savior of the world.
We have a new family portrait and if you go look, you'll see why a friend wrote, "Looks like there's a little room in the front row still!!!"
Have a wonderful week and God Bless.
Francine
Dec 10, 2011
Day of Blessings
Today was a day when I could feel God at every event of the day. First Tim & I slept in until 10:30, something I don't believe we have done in YEARS! We spent an awesome evening with friends from our Sunday School class having a terrific dinner and then a great Christmas "white elephant" gift exchange.
Today Carmen & I spent the day Christmas shopping. We were very hungry, but didn't want to spend a lot or go fast food so we agreed to split a soup bread bowl and green tea at Panera. While sitting there enjoying, a woman came and said they had made a mistake on her order and asked if I'd like her Greek salad, they had told her to throw it away and she didn't want to waste it. I graciously accepted, she didn't know our decision to share our lunch, but we believe God lead her to our table. Later we thanked her and gave credit to God she came to our table. Carmen went to get a refill on our green tea, and then the worker told her she wasn't supposed to, but gave her a refill anyway.
Next we went into the Christian bookstore and purchased Richie one of his baptism gifts. The book, "Heaven is for Real", the child's version. Carmen asked if she could read it really quick and in the back there were questions in the back of the book and one was, "do you get wings in heaven" to which the little boy replied, "you can choose if you want to walk or fly" and it brought Carmen to tears of wonder.
Tonight we spent the evening together putting up our tree, although not such a "fun" thing, and not without a lot of belly-aching, it is up and beautiful. We opted for our small, pre-lit tree because of the little ones and our cats.
Finally, I got our mail today and in it was our fingerprinting documents for the adoption. Our fingerprint date in St. Louis is January 3, 2012! That was a huge blessing today.
God Bless!
Today Carmen & I spent the day Christmas shopping. We were very hungry, but didn't want to spend a lot or go fast food so we agreed to split a soup bread bowl and green tea at Panera. While sitting there enjoying, a woman came and said they had made a mistake on her order and asked if I'd like her Greek salad, they had told her to throw it away and she didn't want to waste it. I graciously accepted, she didn't know our decision to share our lunch, but we believe God lead her to our table. Later we thanked her and gave credit to God she came to our table. Carmen went to get a refill on our green tea, and then the worker told her she wasn't supposed to, but gave her a refill anyway.
Next we went into the Christian bookstore and purchased Richie one of his baptism gifts. The book, "Heaven is for Real", the child's version. Carmen asked if she could read it really quick and in the back there were questions in the back of the book and one was, "do you get wings in heaven" to which the little boy replied, "you can choose if you want to walk or fly" and it brought Carmen to tears of wonder.
Tonight we spent the evening together putting up our tree, although not such a "fun" thing, and not without a lot of belly-aching, it is up and beautiful. We opted for our small, pre-lit tree because of the little ones and our cats.
Finally, I got our mail today and in it was our fingerprinting documents for the adoption. Our fingerprint date in St. Louis is January 3, 2012! That was a huge blessing today.
God Bless!
Dec 6, 2011
Routine Upset AKA Choir/Band Concert
Our evenings our usually pretty routine, scheduled the week before and followed. We have carpools coming & going, kids homework, dinner, etc. just like any other family, but it's when you throw off that routine with a Choir/Band concert that seems to knock the whole world off kilter!
What time do we have to be there, what do I wear, do I have time for a shower, what time can we eat dinner, why does everyone have to go (all from dd #3). Why do I have to go, I don't want to hear anyone sing, can't I stay home by myself (all from dgs #1). Haven't I already heard enough singing (after driving a total of 5 hours to hear our dd sing a few weeks ago), I don't have any kids in band, why do I have to hear them (all from dh) plus more I'll leave out for now.
Oh the joys of getting everyone to a school function where we all go as a "family". Ohana means "family" and as dysfunctional as we sometimes are, we love one another and will be there with our smiles.
The choir/band concert was beautiful (and short :). Three of the kids played Pokemon cards, bounced to the Christmas music and then we went home, settled down and all is quiet now that everyone's asleep.
What time do we have to be there, what do I wear, do I have time for a shower, what time can we eat dinner, why does everyone have to go (all from dd #3). Why do I have to go, I don't want to hear anyone sing, can't I stay home by myself (all from dgs #1). Haven't I already heard enough singing (after driving a total of 5 hours to hear our dd sing a few weeks ago), I don't have any kids in band, why do I have to hear them (all from dh) plus more I'll leave out for now.
Oh the joys of getting everyone to a school function where we all go as a "family". Ohana means "family" and as dysfunctional as we sometimes are, we love one another and will be there with our smiles.
The choir/band concert was beautiful (and short :). Three of the kids played Pokemon cards, bounced to the Christmas music and then we went home, settled down and all is quiet now that everyone's asleep.
Hmmmm - Notice of Action
Well, today we received an official looking document from The Department of Homeland Security verifying that they received our I800A & all the $$ for our application fee and fingerprints. Now we wait for another letter telling us when and where to go for our fingerprints.
Whoever said everything comes to those who wait is probably still waiting : )
Whoever said everything comes to those who wait is probably still waiting : )
Nov 29, 2011
The "F" Word - Fundraising, To Do or Not To Do?
Like so many families adopting either domestically or internationally, the fees add up to almost putting a child through community college - and then some.
Some people say "if you have to fundraise, don't adopt". These are usually well-meaning people, but they have not been there to see the faces of the orphaned children, held them in their arms, cared for them in the little time you are able to spend with them, and then leaving heartbroken, not knowing if they will ever have someone to call mommy or daddy, especially if they don't look healthy or "normal" because of special needs or even older healthy children, just because they're older.
Our family has been there, held them, cared for them, loved them and was heartbroken to leave. God has given us the opportunity to adopt a special needs child from China. We don't know who yet, boy or girl, maybe twins, we just know it is what we are called to do by our Lord.
We will officially be starting our fundraising after the holidays by offering services for people. In the mean time we will be applying for grants, which we have heard are in very short supply and also by entering a giveaway called the "2nd Annual 24 Days of Giving at http://afamilyofsix.blogspot.com/2011/11/2nd-annual-24-days-of-giving.html
Please pray for whoever may receive this gift, it is a true blessing.
Some people say "if you have to fundraise, don't adopt". These are usually well-meaning people, but they have not been there to see the faces of the orphaned children, held them in their arms, cared for them in the little time you are able to spend with them, and then leaving heartbroken, not knowing if they will ever have someone to call mommy or daddy, especially if they don't look healthy or "normal" because of special needs or even older healthy children, just because they're older.
Our family has been there, held them, cared for them, loved them and was heartbroken to leave. God has given us the opportunity to adopt a special needs child from China. We don't know who yet, boy or girl, maybe twins, we just know it is what we are called to do by our Lord.
We will officially be starting our fundraising after the holidays by offering services for people. In the mean time we will be applying for grants, which we have heard are in very short supply and also by entering a giveaway called the "2nd Annual 24 Days of Giving at http://afamilyofsix.blogspot.com/2011/11/2nd-annual-24-days-of-giving.html
Please pray for whoever may receive this gift, it is a true blessing.
Family Pictures - Can Anyone Say Chaos!
Everyone knows I am a photo junkie. I absolutely LOVE taking pictures & LOTS of them. I guess that's why in the last 27 years we've only had 4 family portraits. Trying to get 8 people ready in a matter of 2 hours ranging from 9 months to 45+ years took some juggling, smoothing ruffled feathers, spiking and bribery. They ended up going pretty smoothly and our photographer was so layed back, he rolled with all the rumblings. We receive our proofs tomorrow and I can hardly wait. We had to have pictures for our dossier and I was the proud recipient of a local contest winning 100 free photo holiday cards, so what better excuse to get the pictures taken!
Nov 16, 2011
Hurdles of Hope
November 16, 2011
Yesterday at 12 noon I received the call from our social worker that Illinois DCFS had approved our home study. Needless to say I was stunned and immediately broke down in tears. I felt the way I did when finding out I was expecting our last biological child, filled with joy and awe.
Our social worker let us know it was the longest she's ever done in her 21 years. The state came back several times asking us to explain more in detail certain things that they had never come across, then would come back again, wanting us to explain the same questions, just differently. We thought it would never end. But God is the Greatest and He knew the timeline.
We pray that what our social worker, ICPC and others learned through our paperwork will help others in the same predictament. We hope it helps them know exactly how to word items and give them what they need.
We have no idea the next step, I will be calling tomorrow, but I wanted to share this fabulous news with you.
We are truly blessed by God.
Yesterday at 12 noon I received the call from our social worker that Illinois DCFS had approved our home study. Needless to say I was stunned and immediately broke down in tears. I felt the way I did when finding out I was expecting our last biological child, filled with joy and awe.
Our social worker let us know it was the longest she's ever done in her 21 years. The state came back several times asking us to explain more in detail certain things that they had never come across, then would come back again, wanting us to explain the same questions, just differently. We thought it would never end. But God is the Greatest and He knew the timeline.
We pray that what our social worker, ICPC and others learned through our paperwork will help others in the same predictament. We hope it helps them know exactly how to word items and give them what they need.
We have no idea the next step, I will be calling tomorrow, but I wanted to share this fabulous news with you.
We are truly blessed by God.
Nov 11, 2011
Be Still.....
November 11, 2011
Age 4
"Be Still" meant my Grandmother, Virginia, scolding me to quit fidgeting.
Age 14
"Be Still" meant my teacher reprimanding me for either talking to my friend or getting ready to jump out of my seat at the sound of the bell.
Age 40+
"Be Still" now means God loves me enough to say, "Have faith in My timing, be still and trust in Me to know the plans I have for you."
If you know me, being still is not one of my strong suits. If fact, it is THE hardest things in my life for me to do.
Being still isn't just about being patient. It is also being open to listening. God sometimes will shout and His way will be crystal clear. But usually for me, God's voice is a whisper that I must "Be Still" to hear.
Age 4
"Be Still" meant my Grandmother, Virginia, scolding me to quit fidgeting.
Age 14
"Be Still" meant my teacher reprimanding me for either talking to my friend or getting ready to jump out of my seat at the sound of the bell.
Age 40+
"Be Still" now means God loves me enough to say, "Have faith in My timing, be still and trust in Me to know the plans I have for you."
If you know me, being still is not one of my strong suits. If fact, it is THE hardest things in my life for me to do.
Being still isn't just about being patient. It is also being open to listening. God sometimes will shout and His way will be crystal clear. But usually for me, God's voice is a whisper that I must "Be Still" to hear.
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