Leaving a trail of Cheerios in China

I have named the blog title trail or Cheerios, because it is a staple for Zander, morning, noon and night. He LOVES them and leaves a trail of them wherever we go. Some would say so he can find his way back someday (honey-nut cheerios). This blog was actually started 2 nights ago.....Well, as I sit here now contemplating this post, Tim is snoring to beat the band and little Zanman has kicked, patted, hummed, thrown his pacifier, turned upside down and beat the covers fighting his sleep. He wants nothing to do with his crib, but he's there now after falling asleep upside down, on his belly with legs bent on the headboard.

NOW....The last several days have passed by in a blur of activity. Zander really fits in well with the family, he wakes up happy and within the first 10 minutes is ready to eat. He anxiously watches the adjoining door for the kids to come through each morning and if they aren't up in enough time, he starts banging on their door. He must be getting more used to us because he actually didn't have that puzzled look on his face this morning when he saw us in bed with him.

I'm going to back up to Tuesday (it's Friday here now). Tuesday morning we had to be back at the Civil Affairs Office to sign paperwork and get our thumbs and Zander's foot stamped. The way it works is the first 24 hours is a "guardianship", then you must go back the next day to decide and say "for sure" you do want your child and that's when you get sworn in.

We decided to venture out on our own for dinner that night. We were told by some Americans who were adopting (they live in Beijing) where a few good restaurants could be found. So after swimming, the Verbeke's hit dry land hungry! We walked a few blocks when we found what may do on a side street. We walked in and right away were greeted by the other Americans as they were just finishing. Well, that was our first mistake, letting them leave without helping US order! They gave a menu with pictures, but everything looks the same. We picked 5 dishes, ordered a couple beers and thought we had done great...until...they came to us laughing with the menu and kept trying to tell us things we couldn't understand. Finally the waitress laughed all the way to the kitchen shaking her head.

When dinner was brought we found out why. Four out of the 5 things we ordered were all different forms of egg & onion dishes. So we heartily ate egg & onion and went home to fall into bed.

*********************************************************************************
Wednesday morning we walked to a local park, about a 5 minute walk from our hotel. It is very interesting and beautiful. There are many local artisans practicing their music, photography sessions, singing, we saw a race with a bunch of men, women playing cards, etc. The park has many sculptures, paddle boats, amusement park rides (slow ones), and a lake with lily pads.

Tim took Richie down to jump boulders and ride in a paddle boat while I took Carmen & Zander to try out the rides. He rode 2 w/Carmen and one w/me. He didn't care if he rode of not, he was more interested in his oh oh's. We came across a couple of people who came and introduced themselves and asked if we minded if they tried their English in conversation. We spent several minutes talking and laughing with people. It was so much fun.

Wednesday afternoon we went to the Natural History Museum here. Although I like the idea of learning about the culture here, I really do not like museums of ANY type and neither does an almost 2 yr. old. I don't even care for them back home.

We did see a few interesting things, but for the most part it was the most fun to sit in the lobby and watch people watch us. Richie & Carmen got their pictures taken several times for the locals and within a couple hours we were done.

That evening we gave up and asked our guide, Celine, along with another family, to take us to a local restaurant. It was delicious. The kids devoured what was like sweet and sour pork (Tim said the sauce tasted like ketchup), but the kids loved it. There were several dishes we liked and left there satisfied with full bellies.

Next was home and bath time. Needless to say, Zander is used to a bath in a small round plastic tub. He was NOT crazy about the bathtub, so it was over quickly. Another evening with his comedy routine and nighty night time. Once he's down, he's out. I put him in his bed and he gets back in ours about 3 am or so.
*********************************************************************************
Thursday our guide had originally planned to take us to the local zoo, but after talking with our other family, we said we wanted to see what was called the Longmen Grotto see this site:  http://www.orientalarchitecture.com/china/luoyang/longmen.php

This was what true Chinese heritage is about. Although VERY hot, sweating profusely, complaining children, etc., it was an amazing place. All the carved out grottos where the smallest Buddha was 2 mm to the largest of 17 meters. You could see the Buddhist Temple high on the hill, the boats traveling up and down the canal. The grotto is between 2 mountains with the river running between. The largest Buddha is on one side, we cross a bridge to the other side, and that's where you can see the platforms built into the side where Buddhist monks pray to the Buddha. We learned that Buddhism is a religion, but not like Christianity. We believe as God as our creator of all things. We were told by our guide that most people in China are non-believers, not Buddhists. It was very interesting.

Well, by the end of a VERY long day here, we went back to the local restaurant and everyone scarfed, it was one meal Zander actually sat in his high chair for. I did feel very good when I took him and walked around the restaurant while waiting for our food. Many of the waitresses tried to hold him and he told them all "NO"! This made my mommy heart very big.

Another night and time for a bath. Tim took Richie and Carmen downstairs so I could have some along Zander time. He actually LOVED his bath and learned to splash, play with cups, etc. He cried when I took him out. Then the kids came back it was play time and then lights out. Same comedy routine and musical beds for the night.
*********************************************************************************
This morning we opted for the zoo. It was only 15 minutes away and we would be there less than 3 hours while our guide ran errands to get our children's passports. Well, the zoo was nothing like we expected. Firstly, we got to see Pandas! 2 of them. They were huge and beautiful, but in a very small enclosed area. We were hoping it would get better, but it didn't. It reminds me of how the St. Louis zoo USED to be 30 years ago. Small, dirty, cramped enclosures with unhappy looking lethargic animals. We were very sad when leaving there thinking of the conditions the animals were kept.

We opted out of lunch and decided to just snack in our rooms since we are checking out in 30 minutes to go to the airport. Guangzhou here we come for the almost last leg of our trip!
*********************************************************************************
I want to say some things about our son. He is the most adorable little boy in the world. Whether we're traveling 15 minutes of hours in a car, he's always in a good mood, laughing, playing and of course eating. He's hilarious and has such a wonderful sense of humor for someone so little, especially when he's trying to communicate that he wants to eat AGAIN! He knows what he wants, when he wants. He loves to go bye-bye so he will fit right into our family. He crawls faster than any child I have ever seen and is working on his walking. He is very partial to his BaBa! So much partial yesterday that Tim was more worn out than I have seen him the whole trip, including jet lag. He's slowly warming up to me, but I figure he's going to be stuck with me as soon as we get home so he can completely hog all the baba time he can get. We adore this little man, all of us! He is smart as a whip. He has learned several sayings already such as uh oh, this way, etc. He is a little mocker. if we cough he coughs, if we laugh he laughs. Right now he just saw Tim trim his nails and is holding up his feet for his nails to be trimmed.

Below are MANY pictures in no particular order from the last several days. ENJOY!

China = Family Unity...Ahem....Maybe

Psalm 127:3-5

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Well, so much for blogging! This posting will be a composite of the last 2 days. When I started it, I was feeling all warm & fuzzy, so ahhhh in the mommy moment. I will start by telling how I felt YESTERDAY!

For anyone that knows our family and many families like our (which constitutes much of the USA now). There is always something going on, somewhere someone has to be. It's the American way of life right, busy. Well, here comes China and the start of a new life for our family. When we arrived, it was quite an adjustment period, TOGETHERNESS! It's not so much we don't like one another, on the contrary, we love each other dearly. It's just that we are not used to one another's company on a 24 hour basis. The kids quarrel (which is just like home anyhow), Tim and I feel one another out on different decisions, it was quite tense.

THEN....welcome Zander. It seems our whole separateness has come together in a family. We all have a common goal, him and him only. We laugh together, we play together, we eat together, we take walks together. No phones, only the Olympics for TV (when we can). We have adjoining rooms at our hotel and Carmen & Richie are in one room and Tim, Zander & I in another. Yesterday was perfect in the adoptive parent world.

We arrived at the Provincial Affairs Office and Zander was the first child there to greet us. He wasn't real crazy about seeing us AGAIN and waved bye bye to us. "Who are these strange people who keep invading my space?", his face seemed to say. He was holding tightly to his nanny and we didn't push it. We took him into the play area where the kids kept him entertained with his nanny while we did paperwork. Then when it was time we sat down with him and his nanny said her goodbyes and had to leave. Yesterday was the start of a 24 hour guardianship. The next day (today) we will go back and tell them, "Yes, we still want this child even after being with them overnight." and make it permanent.

Zander thoroughly enjoyed playing with us, eating his snacks & feeding his snacks. His favorite thing was to put food into his mouth, take it out and then attempt to feed you (Tim got his fruit snacks & Carmen his crackers) YUM! All to which we laughed so hard we had tears. After arriving back at the hotel, Zander & Tim took a nap (baba's favorite thing) and then later we went to the pool. Carmen did her workout and Zander was fascinated watching her go back & forth. He LOVES the fact that there is a man working down at the recreation area that gives away free watermelon and tomatoes, his favorite. While Tim had Zander, Richie and I attempted ping pong. We didn't know it was such a dedicated sport to the men sitting and talking, smoking, that we had to wait for them to be done in order to play, I mean attempt to play. Richie was doubled over laughing as the balls he hit would fly into the pool, out of the ping pong area or into the kitchen area.

After getting board there Richie decided to try his hand at running the treadmill, then weight lifting with the locals. Zander enjoyed watching while eating his cheerios and playing with ping pong balls.

Dinner was quite adventurous. Earlier in the day I had gone to Walmart with our guide to purchase a few things. On the way I saw a Pizza Hut that was close and thought it would be a good idea to eat there that evening. It was about 6:30 and the natives were hungry & restless. So we ventured out with our new stroller & new son. After crossing several VERY BUSY streets and not becoming hood ornaments, I conceded that maybe I was wrong in the proximity of Pizza Hut to our hotel. Thirty minutes later we found PH only to be told it would be a 20 minute wait, but wait we did because we weren't walking back yet.

The pizza was wonderful and the kids tried new drinks. Tim found out they have Budweiser in China and all was good. Zander does NOT like pizza, we ordered pasta and he went to town. Then we had a LONG trek back to the hotel and bed. Here are some recap photos from this day.

If I had known there would be pics I would've fixed my hair at least!

Romanticizing the Story

Yesterday was our last day in Beijing. The whole reason for going to Beijing was to volunteer at the foster home and familiarize our faces with our son so that when Gotcha day arrives tomorrow, he has a familiar face to turn to in all the strangers. But what it ended up was a whole lot more.

We made friends with our hosts, his foster parents, we laughed and got to know their children. We made friends with the first young woman we've met from New Zealand, Rebecca. She's an amazing young woman, a nurse, and this is her 3rd year volunteering here. We had many laughs about sheep and her accent.

Our hosts showed us different sites that only locals would know. They talked with us about their lives here, how they met, their struggles, the economy and many different things that have brought them where they are right now. The main thing that brought them to where they are and keeps them where they are is God. We got to see just a minute glimpse of a foreign hotel (not local, which is where you do not wish to go).

In just 3 days we got to learn about each one of the little ones here, with scars on their chests from open-heart surgery, the 2 smallest babies growing mohawks hair styles, not because of it being natural, but because of having iv's placed in their head and having them shaved, little ones wearing colostomy bags and not being able to hear, little ones with hands & ears not being where nature intended, a little girl with an extra chromosome and other unmentionable things, and a little boy in the medical isolation room, fighting for his life. He has a heart problem, just got over pneumonia and is struggling with fever, not being able to gain strength to get better, not knowing if he will make it.

All these children's stories started with being abandoned for only a reason that the parent can tell and we can only guess. God knows each one of these children, each hair on their head (and ours). Each of these children have a purpose on this earth and deserve to live life to their fullest within a family with a mom and dad. These little ones with so many special needs don't know they have special needs yet. They are so full of love and want nothing more than love and attention.

I believe the child that tore at me the most was Corrie, a little girl with an extra chromosome, who LOVED Tim. When he would walk into the room she would smile, lift her arms up to be held (she is about 4) and she would just want him to hold her, dance with her, rock her, tickle her, and just be "with her". She has SO much love in her little heart to give and receive.

Corrie giggling at being tickled.

The little boy Daniel (almost 4), is another huge tug on the heart. He wears a colostomy bag and cannot hear. But when you walk into the room, his whole body smiles from his sparkling brown eyes down to his toes. He runs to you, giggles and practically jumps in your arms. Then he lays his head down on your shoulder and wraps his little arms around your neck and you can't help but hold on to this little guy and feel as though you are being given a special gift.

Daniel & Rebecca

We said our goodbyes to the children, one whom we would see in just a couple of short days, but long for us. We headed to the airport with our host and left behind children we would never forget and would be praying. On to Zhengzhou!

Richie learning to feed Daniel

Daniel & Carmen

Corrie & Tim

Beijing Day 2

I am playing catch up on our blog so please bear with me as I recall the events. It's another 4 am wake-up call here, I have so much on my mind to share that after it's emptied I will rest peacefully, hopefully.

Thursday evening Carmen & I crashed around 7 pm. Tim & Richie went exploring the nearby mall in search of food. Richie has become a picker and doesn't eat much at one sitting here, hence making him hungry ALL the time, even though he's not like this back home. When they returned it was with Subway, candy & coke. Dinner of champion I thought and went to bed.

Friday morning brought us rising up early and ready for the day. We weren't quite sure of the daily schedule, but knew it involved seeing our babies and the Beijing Silk Market. We were worried when our hosts didn't show at the time given and called, they assured they were fine. I forget they have lived here several years and won't get lost. This is a picture from our view of Tim & Carmen waiting.  Our hosts arrived with their daughters and presented Carmen with a paperdoll they had made to look like her, it was too cute.

Add caption

Our hosts had decided to take us to the silk market first. We had a few souvenirs to purchase and wanted to give Richie the full experience of the market. Little did we know, the silk market isn't ready for Richie! Our husband host took his daughters, Tim & Richie to the top where jewelry and toys were kept and our host wife took Carmen & I to the basement where purses were kept. We knew the routine since we had just visited last year. I love to bargain, but after NUMEROUS "you crazy lady", "I go poor at that price" and "come back, come back", our poor host looked as if her fingernails were being pulled out one by one so we settled on about the 25th store and made our purse purchases feeling good about our $$ choices.

We met up with the rest of the group and learned all about Tim's haggling skills. Richie felt so sorry for the people that they were being taken advantage of (this was Carmen's take on the silk market last year). He was amazed how his Papa had talked the people down. Tim cringes at the thought of ANY confrontation here, he would rather be beat than have to return here whereas our host hubby and I LOVE the place. Richie loves his new toy gun and Yu-Gi-Oh cards. A few more stops and out we go! It is the day after the silk market and Richie is still reminiscing on his purchases and the poor people who work there....BUT.....he's ready to go back at any given moment to get more bargains. He said over and over ALL day how he LOVES the silk market.

 For lunch we were treated to one of the local favorites of our hosts. They call it The Noodle Loft, I'm not sure the Chinese name for it though. It was very fascinating watching the chefs take the dough, whip it around, slap it on the wood counter, separate, and then stand back and thread it from about 3 feet away into the boiling water. Richie & our hosts children sat at the counter watching in amazement. It was so interesting watching their little girls, they speak fluent Chinese and carried on a conversation with the chef.

Then our treat for the day, back to the baby house to play with the little ones. When we volunteered at the orphanage last year it was quite a bit different. There were SO many little ones, you interacted with them all. But here, they are a family unit, the hosts, their children, the aiys and the little ones. This is the type of atmosphere foundation trying to be instilled in the baby home. Aiys are on 24 hour shifts and switch when the new aiys come to be with the children.

All the little ones have had or still have life-threatening illness that have been treated or are being treated. The foster home runs totally on donations from both US and China and struggles immensely each and every day because people just don't want to acknowledge responsibility to help these children. Not everyone is called to adopt, but almost everyone can sponsor.

More on this in my next post. Meet the little ones.

Timothy

Seth

Corrie

David

Rachel

Ruth

 Daniel

Sela

Our being at the foster home is a lot of work for our hosts because they have routines, as we do in our home, and when out of town guests arrive, routines go out the window. Their generosity in allowing us into their home was very humbling. Even though there were many laughs, at the end of the day, there is still the main thing, these children have no mom or dad, some may never know a traditional family because people cannot see beyond the black and white on the paper that lists the child's special need. There is SOOOO much love and life in these little ones. 

Our day ended with Richie in tears. We were sitting there playing with the kids and Richie went over in a rocker and was so silent. I asked him what was wrong, his response, "I'm going to miss all the babies, I want to bring them all home to have a family." That says in all in a nut shell. We were with the little ones 2 days and here, a 10 yr. old boy already knows and feels the depth of the longing they don't even realize they have yet, a family.

Whirlwinds of Exhaustion

Please note, as much as I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to upload pictures right now, I cannot until after Gotcha Day!

Yesterday was unbelievable. We all woke feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day. Breakfast was wonderful filled with fruit, juices, and every kind of food. The fun began when I attempted to ask for bottled water, hmmm, how do you explain that. Finally the young woman asked me to spell & draw it, she said she would "look it up". Oh the wonderful internet, 10 minutes later we were brought 4 bottles of water : )

We then hung around outside with all the familiar smells of China, Carmen commented on how this was the one thing she did not miss. We were then picked up by our new friend and host. It is much different riding with someone who lives here that you know and trust compared to a taxi driver of last year.

Arriving at the foster home and walking in was surreal. It's visiting something and someone you have seen in pictures for months, dreamed about without actually knowing, held pictures and prayed over, but never knew. It was finally here in the flesh, something and someone we could touch, hold, love and love on. Except when they looked at us and shook their head NO and all we could do is crack up laughing. Throughout the morning we were entertained by a certain little one eating rice & Panda Puffs cereal with a spoon, without a spoon, on the couch, on the floor, etc. With many shakes of the head "no". He was quite entertaining and Carmen was on Cloud 9 when he went to her first.

The morning was spent getting to know our hosts. They are such awesome people and the day was filled with laughter as we learned they have similar senses of humor, Carmen was totally the object of their little girl's interest with questions, giggles and conversations of hair! Richie didn't disappoint when they couldn't believe how much he can talk.....we warned them that he doesn't have an OFF button!

There is a young woman volunteering that is from New Zealand with a quick whit and fun accent that was the topic of many laughs. Lunch was wonderful and we were introduced to a sweet potato, or a potato that's sweet (still determining) concoction that resembled jelly fish. It must be an acquired taste because it wasn't ours (even though I wasn't inclined to try it Tim wasn't keen : )

Tim & Richie, it is VERY humid as you can tell from Tim's shirt.

The afternoon brought Carmen and I staying at the foster home and Tim & Richie went with our host to the secluded part of the Great Wall that only locals know and well off the beaten path. You know it's only for locals when the cost is $.30 compared to the touristy part that is $20.  Here are few pictures from Tim & Richie's trip to the Great Wall. Richie explained that it was only a gravel, narrow walkway, hiking through the woods on an ancient dirt path and at the beginning, instead of starting on stairs, their trip began on an old log ladder they climbed to start their journey.

Carmen & I spent the afternoon at the baby house where we met all the little faces we had only seen in photos. Little Rachel, still purple waiting on her heart surgery to give oxygen to her body, little Seth who struggles daily with life, little Sela with her spiky hair because she had her head shaved to accommodate her iv, little Corie with her 3 pigtails and wanting to dance and be held, little Daniel who cannot hear, but with THE biggest hugs and smiles, wanting to be held and played with, little David with his cocked head and hand playing quietly, little Ruth with her beautiful little smile & infectious giggle, little Timothy with his feeding tube but it doesn't stop him, he's full of energy and laughs....

then little Joshua (aka Zander), he is amazing, not wanting to walk, but runs when made to, loving his foster mom and aiys (nannies). They kept trying to get him to come to come to me and Carmen, but we want to watch him in his environment to get to know him and his personality. He has an impish side that I was told he learned from Daniel. He is smart and adorable.

When dinner time for the babies came I gave his nanny an apoplexy! My host planted a stool directly in front of his high chair and I attempted to feed him his spiral noodles with green veggies, chunks of chicken and broth. Thank God he had a large bib on because he immediately began spitting out everything, which I found was common, one of the things he had learned from Daniel : ) The nannies feed all the children out of bowls and I TOTALLY get this. It has to be a small assembly line and feeding them cuts down on any mess and clean-up is much easier. But I was determined to see him eat so what did I do, I gave him control. Handing him his spoon while I held his bowl. What a HUGE smile this brought from him while his nanny stood beside me wringing her hands. Our host and I just laughed as he attempted the spoon, then giving up that, dug in with both hands, feeling the textures and shoveling them in! There was food everywhere, but with the majority ending up in his mouth. Clean-up was more lengthy, but well worth it. Our host laughed because they shooed me away and even broke out the mop! It was so much fun.

The boys arrived back from the Great Wall and Carmen had crashed on the sofa. We attempted to wake her up and she was VERY pale and not feeling well at all. On the walk back to our host's home she became overheated, dizzy, white and almost passed out. Our host went and picked her up in their car and air conditioning. After sitting for a while we were ALL exhausted, our time change and  emotions of the long day had caught up with us. It was time to say goodbye for the evening. They drove us back to our hotel where we promptly collapsed, without dinner, until 3 AM this morning.

Today is another day! We are energized and ready! It's supposed to rain here today, but hopefully we can dodge the raindrops and soak up every aspect of the day.

Beijing Bound

Well here we sit in Seoul, Korea. We have a 2 1/2 hour layover before boarding on the last leg of our trip to Beijing. The 14 hour flight, although long, wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. Richie got window, Tim middle & myself aisle.

It was fun (most of the time) to watch Richie as he experienced all the new things. He especially loved the food (he called everything Korean food). He played games, watched movies, watched the airplane through its skycam and he actually crashed for about 4 of the 14 hours! We had to have him shush a couple of times because he was singing so loud with his music. He was a great traveler.

Carmen was across the aisle from me and did wonderful for not having anyone to hang with this flight. Last year she had her buddy Makenna to laugh and joke with, this year she made due with the movies and games : ) She actually slept almost 6 hours of the flight. Although the personality right now only seems like 2. She's is so excited to see Zander she was in tears, although this could be over-tiredness too.

Tim is a wonderful traveler. He mainly can chill and not need to be entertained via the little black box in the seat headrest. He likes quiet as I've mentioned before and Richie talked all the time during the first several hours (if you know Richie you know how much he can talk). He only got about 30 minutes of sleep.

Me, I spent most of the airplane ride coughing with this goofy cold, trying not to annoy everyone around. People were very gracious and I didn't get stares or glares : ) Got a tad bit of rest, but so ready for the hotel in Beijing for a hot shower and clean bed.

Well, off to Beijing! Keep cool everyone. We really miss you already.

Blessings,
Francine