China = Family Unity...Ahem....Maybe

Psalm 127:3-5

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
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Well, so much for blogging! This posting will be a composite of the last 2 days. When I started it, I was feeling all warm & fuzzy, so ahhhh in the mommy moment. I will start by telling how I felt YESTERDAY!

For anyone that knows our family and many families like our (which constitutes much of the USA now). There is always something going on, somewhere someone has to be. It's the American way of life right, busy. Well, here comes China and the start of a new life for our family. When we arrived, it was quite an adjustment period, TOGETHERNESS! It's not so much we don't like one another, on the contrary, we love each other dearly. It's just that we are not used to one another's company on a 24 hour basis. The kids quarrel (which is just like home anyhow), Tim and I feel one another out on different decisions, it was quite tense.

THEN....welcome Zander. It seems our whole separateness has come together in a family. We all have a common goal, him and him only. We laugh together, we play together, we eat together, we take walks together. No phones, only the Olympics for TV (when we can). We have adjoining rooms at our hotel and Carmen & Richie are in one room and Tim, Zander & I in another. Yesterday was perfect in the adoptive parent world.

We arrived at the Provincial Affairs Office and Zander was the first child there to greet us. He wasn't real crazy about seeing us AGAIN and waved bye bye to us. "Who are these strange people who keep invading my space?", his face seemed to say. He was holding tightly to his nanny and we didn't push it. We took him into the play area where the kids kept him entertained with his nanny while we did paperwork. Then when it was time we sat down with him and his nanny said her goodbyes and had to leave. Yesterday was the start of a 24 hour guardianship. The next day (today) we will go back and tell them, "Yes, we still want this child even after being with them overnight." and make it permanent.

Zander thoroughly enjoyed playing with us, eating his snacks & feeding his snacks. His favorite thing was to put food into his mouth, take it out and then attempt to feed you (Tim got his fruit snacks & Carmen his crackers) YUM! All to which we laughed so hard we had tears. After arriving back at the hotel, Zander & Tim took a nap (baba's favorite thing) and then later we went to the pool. Carmen did her workout and Zander was fascinated watching her go back & forth. He LOVES the fact that there is a man working down at the recreation area that gives away free watermelon and tomatoes, his favorite. While Tim had Zander, Richie and I attempted ping pong. We didn't know it was such a dedicated sport to the men sitting and talking, smoking, that we had to wait for them to be done in order to play, I mean attempt to play. Richie was doubled over laughing as the balls he hit would fly into the pool, out of the ping pong area or into the kitchen area.

After getting board there Richie decided to try his hand at running the treadmill, then weight lifting with the locals. Zander enjoyed watching while eating his cheerios and playing with ping pong balls.

Dinner was quite adventurous. Earlier in the day I had gone to Walmart with our guide to purchase a few things. On the way I saw a Pizza Hut that was close and thought it would be a good idea to eat there that evening. It was about 6:30 and the natives were hungry & restless. So we ventured out with our new stroller & new son. After crossing several VERY BUSY streets and not becoming hood ornaments, I conceded that maybe I was wrong in the proximity of Pizza Hut to our hotel. Thirty minutes later we found PH only to be told it would be a 20 minute wait, but wait we did because we weren't walking back yet.

The pizza was wonderful and the kids tried new drinks. Tim found out they have Budweiser in China and all was good. Zander does NOT like pizza, we ordered pasta and he went to town. Then we had a LONG trek back to the hotel and bed. Here are some recap photos from this day.

If I had known there would be pics I would've fixed my hair at least!

Romanticizing the Story

Yesterday was our last day in Beijing. The whole reason for going to Beijing was to volunteer at the foster home and familiarize our faces with our son so that when Gotcha day arrives tomorrow, he has a familiar face to turn to in all the strangers. But what it ended up was a whole lot more.

We made friends with our hosts, his foster parents, we laughed and got to know their children. We made friends with the first young woman we've met from New Zealand, Rebecca. She's an amazing young woman, a nurse, and this is her 3rd year volunteering here. We had many laughs about sheep and her accent.

Our hosts showed us different sites that only locals would know. They talked with us about their lives here, how they met, their struggles, the economy and many different things that have brought them where they are right now. The main thing that brought them to where they are and keeps them where they are is God. We got to see just a minute glimpse of a foreign hotel (not local, which is where you do not wish to go).

In just 3 days we got to learn about each one of the little ones here, with scars on their chests from open-heart surgery, the 2 smallest babies growing mohawks hair styles, not because of it being natural, but because of having iv's placed in their head and having them shaved, little ones wearing colostomy bags and not being able to hear, little ones with hands & ears not being where nature intended, a little girl with an extra chromosome and other unmentionable things, and a little boy in the medical isolation room, fighting for his life. He has a heart problem, just got over pneumonia and is struggling with fever, not being able to gain strength to get better, not knowing if he will make it.

All these children's stories started with being abandoned for only a reason that the parent can tell and we can only guess. God knows each one of these children, each hair on their head (and ours). Each of these children have a purpose on this earth and deserve to live life to their fullest within a family with a mom and dad. These little ones with so many special needs don't know they have special needs yet. They are so full of love and want nothing more than love and attention.

I believe the child that tore at me the most was Corrie, a little girl with an extra chromosome, who LOVED Tim. When he would walk into the room she would smile, lift her arms up to be held (she is about 4) and she would just want him to hold her, dance with her, rock her, tickle her, and just be "with her". She has SO much love in her little heart to give and receive.

Corrie giggling at being tickled.

The little boy Daniel (almost 4), is another huge tug on the heart. He wears a colostomy bag and cannot hear. But when you walk into the room, his whole body smiles from his sparkling brown eyes down to his toes. He runs to you, giggles and practically jumps in your arms. Then he lays his head down on your shoulder and wraps his little arms around your neck and you can't help but hold on to this little guy and feel as though you are being given a special gift.

Daniel & Rebecca

We said our goodbyes to the children, one whom we would see in just a couple of short days, but long for us. We headed to the airport with our host and left behind children we would never forget and would be praying. On to Zhengzhou!

Richie learning to feed Daniel

Daniel & Carmen

Corrie & Tim

Beijing Day 2

I am playing catch up on our blog so please bear with me as I recall the events. It's another 4 am wake-up call here, I have so much on my mind to share that after it's emptied I will rest peacefully, hopefully.

Thursday evening Carmen & I crashed around 7 pm. Tim & Richie went exploring the nearby mall in search of food. Richie has become a picker and doesn't eat much at one sitting here, hence making him hungry ALL the time, even though he's not like this back home. When they returned it was with Subway, candy & coke. Dinner of champion I thought and went to bed.

Friday morning brought us rising up early and ready for the day. We weren't quite sure of the daily schedule, but knew it involved seeing our babies and the Beijing Silk Market. We were worried when our hosts didn't show at the time given and called, they assured they were fine. I forget they have lived here several years and won't get lost. This is a picture from our view of Tim & Carmen waiting.  Our hosts arrived with their daughters and presented Carmen with a paperdoll they had made to look like her, it was too cute.

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Our hosts had decided to take us to the silk market first. We had a few souvenirs to purchase and wanted to give Richie the full experience of the market. Little did we know, the silk market isn't ready for Richie! Our husband host took his daughters, Tim & Richie to the top where jewelry and toys were kept and our host wife took Carmen & I to the basement where purses were kept. We knew the routine since we had just visited last year. I love to bargain, but after NUMEROUS "you crazy lady", "I go poor at that price" and "come back, come back", our poor host looked as if her fingernails were being pulled out one by one so we settled on about the 25th store and made our purse purchases feeling good about our $$ choices.

We met up with the rest of the group and learned all about Tim's haggling skills. Richie felt so sorry for the people that they were being taken advantage of (this was Carmen's take on the silk market last year). He was amazed how his Papa had talked the people down. Tim cringes at the thought of ANY confrontation here, he would rather be beat than have to return here whereas our host hubby and I LOVE the place. Richie loves his new toy gun and Yu-Gi-Oh cards. A few more stops and out we go! It is the day after the silk market and Richie is still reminiscing on his purchases and the poor people who work there....BUT.....he's ready to go back at any given moment to get more bargains. He said over and over ALL day how he LOVES the silk market.

 For lunch we were treated to one of the local favorites of our hosts. They call it The Noodle Loft, I'm not sure the Chinese name for it though. It was very fascinating watching the chefs take the dough, whip it around, slap it on the wood counter, separate, and then stand back and thread it from about 3 feet away into the boiling water. Richie & our hosts children sat at the counter watching in amazement. It was so interesting watching their little girls, they speak fluent Chinese and carried on a conversation with the chef.

Then our treat for the day, back to the baby house to play with the little ones. When we volunteered at the orphanage last year it was quite a bit different. There were SO many little ones, you interacted with them all. But here, they are a family unit, the hosts, their children, the aiys and the little ones. This is the type of atmosphere foundation trying to be instilled in the baby home. Aiys are on 24 hour shifts and switch when the new aiys come to be with the children.

All the little ones have had or still have life-threatening illness that have been treated or are being treated. The foster home runs totally on donations from both US and China and struggles immensely each and every day because people just don't want to acknowledge responsibility to help these children. Not everyone is called to adopt, but almost everyone can sponsor.

More on this in my next post. Meet the little ones.

Timothy

Seth

Corrie

David

Rachel

Ruth

 Daniel

Sela

Our being at the foster home is a lot of work for our hosts because they have routines, as we do in our home, and when out of town guests arrive, routines go out the window. Their generosity in allowing us into their home was very humbling. Even though there were many laughs, at the end of the day, there is still the main thing, these children have no mom or dad, some may never know a traditional family because people cannot see beyond the black and white on the paper that lists the child's special need. There is SOOOO much love and life in these little ones. 

Our day ended with Richie in tears. We were sitting there playing with the kids and Richie went over in a rocker and was so silent. I asked him what was wrong, his response, "I'm going to miss all the babies, I want to bring them all home to have a family." That says in all in a nut shell. We were with the little ones 2 days and here, a 10 yr. old boy already knows and feels the depth of the longing they don't even realize they have yet, a family.

Whirlwinds of Exhaustion

Please note, as much as I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to upload pictures right now, I cannot until after Gotcha Day!

Yesterday was unbelievable. We all woke feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day. Breakfast was wonderful filled with fruit, juices, and every kind of food. The fun began when I attempted to ask for bottled water, hmmm, how do you explain that. Finally the young woman asked me to spell & draw it, she said she would "look it up". Oh the wonderful internet, 10 minutes later we were brought 4 bottles of water : )

We then hung around outside with all the familiar smells of China, Carmen commented on how this was the one thing she did not miss. We were then picked up by our new friend and host. It is much different riding with someone who lives here that you know and trust compared to a taxi driver of last year.

Arriving at the foster home and walking in was surreal. It's visiting something and someone you have seen in pictures for months, dreamed about without actually knowing, held pictures and prayed over, but never knew. It was finally here in the flesh, something and someone we could touch, hold, love and love on. Except when they looked at us and shook their head NO and all we could do is crack up laughing. Throughout the morning we were entertained by a certain little one eating rice & Panda Puffs cereal with a spoon, without a spoon, on the couch, on the floor, etc. With many shakes of the head "no". He was quite entertaining and Carmen was on Cloud 9 when he went to her first.

The morning was spent getting to know our hosts. They are such awesome people and the day was filled with laughter as we learned they have similar senses of humor, Carmen was totally the object of their little girl's interest with questions, giggles and conversations of hair! Richie didn't disappoint when they couldn't believe how much he can talk.....we warned them that he doesn't have an OFF button!

There is a young woman volunteering that is from New Zealand with a quick whit and fun accent that was the topic of many laughs. Lunch was wonderful and we were introduced to a sweet potato, or a potato that's sweet (still determining) concoction that resembled jelly fish. It must be an acquired taste because it wasn't ours (even though I wasn't inclined to try it Tim wasn't keen : )

Tim & Richie, it is VERY humid as you can tell from Tim's shirt.

The afternoon brought Carmen and I staying at the foster home and Tim & Richie went with our host to the secluded part of the Great Wall that only locals know and well off the beaten path. You know it's only for locals when the cost is $.30 compared to the touristy part that is $20.  Here are few pictures from Tim & Richie's trip to the Great Wall. Richie explained that it was only a gravel, narrow walkway, hiking through the woods on an ancient dirt path and at the beginning, instead of starting on stairs, their trip began on an old log ladder they climbed to start their journey.

Carmen & I spent the afternoon at the baby house where we met all the little faces we had only seen in photos. Little Rachel, still purple waiting on her heart surgery to give oxygen to her body, little Seth who struggles daily with life, little Sela with her spiky hair because she had her head shaved to accommodate her iv, little Corie with her 3 pigtails and wanting to dance and be held, little Daniel who cannot hear, but with THE biggest hugs and smiles, wanting to be held and played with, little David with his cocked head and hand playing quietly, little Ruth with her beautiful little smile & infectious giggle, little Timothy with his feeding tube but it doesn't stop him, he's full of energy and laughs....

then little Joshua (aka Zander), he is amazing, not wanting to walk, but runs when made to, loving his foster mom and aiys (nannies). They kept trying to get him to come to come to me and Carmen, but we want to watch him in his environment to get to know him and his personality. He has an impish side that I was told he learned from Daniel. He is smart and adorable.

When dinner time for the babies came I gave his nanny an apoplexy! My host planted a stool directly in front of his high chair and I attempted to feed him his spiral noodles with green veggies, chunks of chicken and broth. Thank God he had a large bib on because he immediately began spitting out everything, which I found was common, one of the things he had learned from Daniel : ) The nannies feed all the children out of bowls and I TOTALLY get this. It has to be a small assembly line and feeding them cuts down on any mess and clean-up is much easier. But I was determined to see him eat so what did I do, I gave him control. Handing him his spoon while I held his bowl. What a HUGE smile this brought from him while his nanny stood beside me wringing her hands. Our host and I just laughed as he attempted the spoon, then giving up that, dug in with both hands, feeling the textures and shoveling them in! There was food everywhere, but with the majority ending up in his mouth. Clean-up was more lengthy, but well worth it. Our host laughed because they shooed me away and even broke out the mop! It was so much fun.

The boys arrived back from the Great Wall and Carmen had crashed on the sofa. We attempted to wake her up and she was VERY pale and not feeling well at all. On the walk back to our host's home she became overheated, dizzy, white and almost passed out. Our host went and picked her up in their car and air conditioning. After sitting for a while we were ALL exhausted, our time change and  emotions of the long day had caught up with us. It was time to say goodbye for the evening. They drove us back to our hotel where we promptly collapsed, without dinner, until 3 AM this morning.

Today is another day! We are energized and ready! It's supposed to rain here today, but hopefully we can dodge the raindrops and soak up every aspect of the day.

Beijing Bound

Well here we sit in Seoul, Korea. We have a 2 1/2 hour layover before boarding on the last leg of our trip to Beijing. The 14 hour flight, although long, wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. Richie got window, Tim middle & myself aisle.

It was fun (most of the time) to watch Richie as he experienced all the new things. He especially loved the food (he called everything Korean food). He played games, watched movies, watched the airplane through its skycam and he actually crashed for about 4 of the 14 hours! We had to have him shush a couple of times because he was singing so loud with his music. He was a great traveler.

Carmen was across the aisle from me and did wonderful for not having anyone to hang with this flight. Last year she had her buddy Makenna to laugh and joke with, this year she made due with the movies and games : ) She actually slept almost 6 hours of the flight. Although the personality right now only seems like 2. She's is so excited to see Zander she was in tears, although this could be over-tiredness too.

Tim is a wonderful traveler. He mainly can chill and not need to be entertained via the little black box in the seat headrest. He likes quiet as I've mentioned before and Richie talked all the time during the first several hours (if you know Richie you know how much he can talk). He only got about 30 minutes of sleep.

Me, I spent most of the airplane ride coughing with this goofy cold, trying not to annoy everyone around. People were very gracious and I didn't get stares or glares : ) Got a tad bit of rest, but so ready for the hotel in Beijing for a hot shower and clean bed.

Well, off to Beijing! Keep cool everyone. We really miss you already.

Blessings,
Francine

The Seat Next To Me

As we were leaving St. Louis heading for Chicago, I was thinking to myself, "If we have to be on a plane going somewhere, I would much rather be on a long flight so we wouldn't have to take-off & land so many time." You see I LOVE to fly, I just don't like the take-off & landing part.

But this Chicago trip, although only an hour, was one of the best flights I had. Sitting next to me was a petite woman. She was on her side, looking out the window when she looked over at me and moved over a seat and started a conversation. She asked where we were going and we explained our journey to China to get our son. She mentioned over and over how amazed she was and asked what made us choose to adopt. I explained to her the Bible verse James 1:27 where it states to take care of widows and orphan. I told her how God had placed adoption on our heart and made it possible for us to adopt our little boy.

She looked at me and said, "so you're a sister?" I was a bit confused and then she said, "you're a sister of, " and pointed up to the sky. I said yes, I am a sister in Christ Jesus, a Christian. She went on to tell me how she had friends who were sisters, Christian friends. I asked her belief, she told me she was a Buddhist.

She asked MANY questions, "How were we sure we were supposed to adopt? I answered God placed it in our hearts and she commented how when she made decisions, she was never REALLY sure what she was supposed to do. She talked about her 4 sons and about how one, ate 21 was mentally challenged and it was so hard and she spent so most of her time wondering what had caused it and what would I do if I had a mentally challenged child. I told her to stop wondering what had caused it because that could not be changed, just accept the person he was and the attributes he has and build them from there.

We talked about SO much in the first 30 minutes I felt I knew her forever (ok, those of you who know me this isn't a surprise is it, I never meet a stranger). She told me about her friend and said how much I reminded her of her because of my belief and assuredness in my beliefs. She asked how I learned and I told her from reading God's word, the Bible, it's all in there, all the stories, all the knowledge given to us by God. She said her friend told her just to visit a church (which she said there are some Christian churches in Japan) and just listen with an open mind and heart.

She asked me the same and I told her the same except I told her to look at a Bible (unfortunately I didn't have a hard copy with me, only the one on my laptop). She said that if she went, she would have many many questions. I told her that all she had to do was ask and she would be told the answers.

She explained she had 4 days in Chicago to tour and then she would be traveling back to Japan. She said her oldest son is in St. Louis attending Lindenwood College for business and has only been here 6 months. She said she Skypes with him and I told her we had set-up Skype in order to talk with friends back home while in China.

Well, the flight was over and she again told us how wonderful it was to talk with us and as we were waiting for passengers to depart the plane, she quickly wrote on a piece of paper and gave it to me. She explained it was her Skype address and asked if I would be willing to Skype with her. I said of course and she couldn't believe I said yes. She smiled as she walked away and said, "I will have MANY, MANY questions, I would like if you could answer for me after I go to this church."

My eyes teared up and I said I definitely would try and prayed right there for God to give me the words for my new friend when we do connect, because we will.

The take-off & landing doesn't matter anymore, it's what happens in between. Thank you God for the person in the seat next to me because it was Jesus. Please pray for my new friend Koyama.

Blessings Everyone,
Francine

We're Off!

Well we are off or should I say sitting at St. Louis International airport getting ready to be off. Yesterday was a whirlwind of packing, packing & more packing. Last night trying to sleep was a cough-fest between Carmen & myself so as you can imagine, we didn't get a lot of sleep.

This morning at 4 am as the alarm went off I was very angry at it, I just wanted to sleep and then I thought about seeing our little boy in just 24 hours and was up and atem. It was quite a production at our house, we all have such different personalities in the morning. Tim is an extremely quiet person in the morning, Carmen & I are loud and raring to go. Richie is a middle man, half quiet & half a bit rowdy.

As I was blow-drying my hair, with Tim trying to brush teeth and comb his hair, it was a battle over the cord in the way. Then when he left for some reason I looked up and there was one of my best friends, at 430 in the morning mind you, fully dressed, hair done, etc. She said she just so happened to be up so she came to see what was happening at the Verbeke household.

Well, she got quite a show with all or us in our glory, bantering back and forth, then trying to get out the door. The airlines tell you to be at the airport 3 hours early for international flights and me, as the literal person I am, was bound and determined to get us there 3 hours early.

Now it's one hour from our flight and we should've waited another hour UGH! At least with this trip to China we aren't bringing any carry-ons, we checked it all, which is so nice not to have to worry about toting rolling luggage everywhere.

Well Zander, here we come, ready or not! We can hardly wait to meet you!

Well, this is about how I was feeling before going to bed last night. Our home resembles that reality tv show called "Hoarders" because we have bags from every type of store around with things to pack. Oh, did I mention nothing is packed yet? We first had to pack to go out of town this weekend for the swim championships. If everything goes well, we should arrive back home around 11 pm Sunday night. Did I also mention Sunday is Carmen's 13th birthday and I have still yet to find "the" card I wish to give her? I have one more day right (believe it or not I have looked several places and nothing grabs my attention). I was feeling VERY overwhelmed yesterday, trying to fit in everything, make everyone happy, and just plain going in all directions. 


After doing laundry I fell into bed and Tim asked, "Oh, is it time for your 10 minutes of sleep?" I know, as many BTDT (been there done that) adoptive parents probably do, that the last few days before you leave there are so many things running through your head that it's hard to sleep.


This morning I got up early, packed for the weekend out (Carmen was already at champs, she went the night before with wonderful friends so she wouldn't have to get up at 430 to leave). I was dreading the 2 hour drive to Carbondale because I don't like driving by myself long distances on 2-lane roads. But this morning was so different, why? because I noticed after driving about 15 miles that I wasn't alone at all.


I was listening to our local Christian station, Joy FM (99.1) and they were talking about peace. It was very early and the sun was just starting to come up and I could see the mist rising and the sun rays through the mist and the trees. I started laughing! It had been a while since I had taken the time to just "enjoy" one of God's biggest gifts, PEACE. 


Then I had to admit....my overwhelming feelings  didn't have anything to do with juggling many different things, I was purposely, not consciously, filling up my time so I wouldn't have to think. Because if I had time to think, I had to admit....I was scared! Not scared of flying for 18-20 hours with a teen and a 10 yr. old, not scared knowing that when I get back home that 2 of my families I cared for will not be there, not scared of seeing our daughter move to NYC when we get back, not scared of traveling all over a foreign country for almost 3 weeks.


You know what scares the heck out of me? That this little boy who has only known one way of life, one family, one routine, one mama....will be scared of me. I have read all the books, read and reread people's blogs, heard horror stories and harrowing stories, but this time it's not them, it's us, it's our turn.


After acknowledging this while driving, I was most blessed with the feeling of peace and happiness because I asked God to take away the fear, to take away the doubt, take away all the negative feelings and He did. I "let go" and surrendered because I know I have to have the faith that He knows exactly what He's doing and that's placing our son in our family. 


When I arrive back home on Sunday evening, I can't promise I won't be freaking out about getting all our stuff packed and together, but this time there will be a difference. The only thing I will be filling my thinking time with is, Zander, here we come, ready or not!


Blessings to you and thank you for reading.
Francine

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.

There are so many things to post since my last update. Our travel approval has come, we have a date set to leave, we are over the top with being so close. But how can we leave when there is SO MUCH LEFT TO DO! It seems you wait FOREVER for this time to come, some days the wait seems like it will never end...Then one day you wake up and Oh Crud! We are leaving in 2 weeks from today!

Today is that day for me, 2 weeks from today we will be on a plane heading to Beijing to meet our son. But there is so much left here to do, so many loose ends to tie, so much DRAMA happening in our lives and we have no idea how we can leave with things the way they are, there are so many more donations that I want to gather to bring over to Zander's foster home, but just don't have the time to gather....and then....

PEACE

i am really totally, 100% at peace with everything. God has granted me this peace because I am staying focused on Him, His word, His promises, His direction, His everything because I know He has it all worked out and if I trust in Him, He will keep me where I need to be, when I need to be, and give me the wisdom of His words when they need to be said, and lead me down the right path. Without malice I will speak, without judgment I will give fact, and with the love He shows me, I will give in return. 

I will update again tomorrow, but tonight my heart and mind are tired with everything going on in our family. Please pray for peace and guidance over our daughter and our grandchildren's father''s families. They are really struggling right now and we hope Peace for them also.

Blessings,

Francine

Nesting Nuttiness!

We have been through 3 biological pregnancies, all with their different types of "nesting". 

Brandy - Our first daughter came while I lived with my parents. With Brandy, the last 2 months of my mother's home was scrubbed from top to bottom, I drove my parents NUTS with constant scrubbing.

Alex - With our second daughter, we were under so much pressure in the military, our nesting went out the window since Tim was supposed to leave before Alexandria was even born and ended up being discharged 2 weeks after she came!

Carmen - With Carmen, the nesting was very smooth, calm and very calculated. I was older when I had Carmen, knew what to expect, excitedly decorated, had her name picked out from the moment we knew she was a girl and looked forward to every doctor's visit. We knew from conception (In Vitro Fertilization) she was there so this pregnancy was a VERY long one.

Zander - Although he is not our biological son, the nesting and pregnancy anxiety are very real. International adoption in China is longer than an actual 9 month, pregnancy. By the time we hold him in our arms, it will have been 8 months from seeing his little face and knowing he was our son. How much closer can you get to actual pregnancy? 

Rocking with Rosella - Our Both Hands Project

This morning I went to take final photos of our Both Hands Project. As I pulled up, Rosie was sitting in her new white-wicker rocker reading her Bible study for the day. The freshly painted porch with bursts of color coming from the new flowers planted could now be seen since all the weeds of the hillside were gone. I sat with her for a while, rocking with her, as she talked about yesterday and what it meant to her to be blessed by God through our team.

Yesterday had to be one of the MOST humbling, rewarding, spiritual times during our adoption process for me. When we decided to adopt, we had a rough idea of cost, but as we went on and our savings dwindled, our minds started churning for what we would be doing in order to raise funds for the remainder of our journey with as little debt as possible.

We prayed, we filled out grants, we worked second jobs, we are STILL fundraising! Just know that we do NOT like fundraising! If we ask for something, we wish to give something in return, it's just in our make-up. We had to get over it....because as we were reminded, the greatest gift ever given us is free, right? God's gift of Salvation.

We heard of the Lifesong Both Hands Project through friends that are also adopting. This project is based on the Bible verse James 1:27


²⁷ Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.


Through this project, we, the adoptive parents, form a team of friends & family. We identify a widow/widower in need of repairs on their home. Due to circumstances, they do not have the financial or physical ability or close family to do many necessary repairs on his/her home. Our team then meets and sends out letters to ours & their friends and family requesting sponsorship for a day of working on the widow/widower's home. We visit area businesses in the community explaining our project and ask for material donations to complete the many projects identified. We then set the date, pray for good weather, and when it's time, we, along with the widow are blessed.


We will be sharing our video tomorrow evening so you can watch for yourselves the amazing work accomplished by our wonderful team.


Blessings,
Francine

Both Hands Project Countdown

Says: SAVE FOR TEAM DEPOT PROJECT *FRANCINE VERBEKE* LIFESONG

Today marks 6 days until our Both Hands Project to help a wonderful woman named Rosie. I know some people may not understand or feel lead to adopt, but our family could not feel more lead by God to adopt our son. There have been so many miracles happen throughout our journey. The latest being the donation of material and volunteers from a local Home Depot store. They have been AMAZING! I have yet to meet the manager, Stacey, who I have only spoken to twice, but have emailed back and forth. Yet through her hard work on the store's end, she managed to gain the materials for us and even had the lumber cut to the specifications needed to build our steps in order to save us on time & equipment. I will meet with her this week so I can photograph her for our video, but in the meantime, here is a few pics. from us picking up the materials. When we committed to this project it was to help raise funds for our adoption, while this is still important, is has taken a back burner to our NOW commitment. Seeing our team come together, even though it will be in the triple digits, seeing the material donations come, seeing the smile on Rosie's face this evening as we unloaded supplies, and mainly, sharing Christ with others that we tell about the project. This is what it has become for us, Christ's story and He allowing us to spread His message.

Six Weeks Seems Like Six Years

It's been a bit since I have posted, we have been hands-down, busier than we have ever been. We have swim practice twice daily w/kids, swim meets every Wed. & weekend, Vacation Bible School (we are teaching), grandkids staying on & off (2 month old through 6 yr. old), dentist, orthodontist, and dr. appointments, fundraising preparations, side jobs to raise funds, summer fun with kids planned, etc., etc, etc. But no matter how MUCH we put on our plates to keep us from thinking about the WAIT or the saying "the busier you are, the faster time flies", it doesn't matter. This next 6 weeks will be the agonizing wait.

We are in the "Article 5" wait right now. It will be (hopefully) picked up on the 19th, couriered to where it needs to go and then comes the 3-4 week wait for Travel Approval, then the 2 day wait to get a consulate appointment THEN we can make our plane reservations!

Zander just received his package from us last week. I am really impressed with the USPS, it took less than 2 weeks! Here are some new pics of him in his new outfit. I absolutely LOVE the pictures of him looking at his recordable V-Tech photo album. He looks so curious!

All Smiles!

Zander's Classic Look

Looking at Sister Carmen

Who Are Those People?

Mother's Day With My Girls

My Mother's Day was one of the best I have had. 

I have been blessed by our daughter Brandy by having 4 beautiful grandchildren and the fact that she got to spend her Mother's Day with all of them by her side. 

I was blessed by Alex by her coming over and having her 2nd swim lesson full of laughs and trust and a yummy fruit bouquet. 

I was blessed by Carmen by waking up to 12 (because that is her age) 11x14 sheets of paper of poems and sayings dedicated to my being her mom, all were taped with black electrical tape to 12 different places with flowers taped to them also. 

I am blessed with Zander, knowing he will be with us for my next Mother's Day and knowing he is with his wonderful foster mom this day.

I am blessed beyond measure for all of my treasures because they keep me close to God, through their struggles I pray, through their joy I give thanks, and through it all I give praise because I am so thankful for our children.

My Mom: I hope my mom, Glenda, is able to look down from Heaven and know how much I love and miss her. She was a wonderful woman inside and out with a heart of gold. Always caring, always there for another person and never thinking badly of anyone, she always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt toward goodness.

My Mother-In-Law: My MIL Judy gave me one of my greatest loves, my husband Tim. She works harder than any woman I know, she works tirelessly with her husband. I love her dearly. Today she had the whole family over to her home to celebrate not only Mother's Day, but also her grandson Nick's graduation and Easter (that was rescheduled because of illness). Thank you for being such a wonderful Mother-In-Law.

Mother's Day 2012

Today we celebrate mothers everywhere of every age, ethnicity, from all over the world. But today I would like to say thank you to a very special mother. I don't know your name, I don't know where you live, I don't know what it was like for you carrying your son and then having to make the courageous decision to place him where you knew he would be found right away and have a better life than you could provide. I don't know the where, why, or how of that day, but I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. My heart aches for what you must have felt and still feel. That little boy will very soon become officially our son, and without you, there would not be him. This poem is dedicated to you, I pray that one day, one way, we will meet in Heaven and I will be able to thank you there.

A Mother's Day Poem

Once there were tow women who never knew each other

Once you do not remember, the other you call Mother

Two different lives shaped to make you one.

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it.

One gave a a nationality, the other gave you a name

Once gave you a talent, the other gave you aim

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears

Once saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears

One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do

The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

Now, which of these two women, are you the product of?

Both my darling, both, just two different types of love.

 - Author Unknown -

God doesn't make mistakes, every child is a blessing and has a purpose. 

Psalm 139:13-16 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.